Just Act Natural
by breakingafterall
Summary: Spencer takes everyone to a cabin for a week. No one is too thrilled about the way things are going. Seddie! T for possible language. Finally complete. :D
1. Chapter 1

As I folded the last of my clothes and zipped my suitcase up, my cell phone rang. Carly told me that her, Spencer, and Freddie were outside waiting for me. I put on my backpack, grabbed my suitcase, and walked out the door, snatching a box of Fat Cakes on my way out. They were in a taxi, all squashed in the back seat. Freddie opened the door for me and I tossed my bags onto his lap.

"You were supposed to put your stuff in the trunk," Spencer stared at me blankly, "but I guess Freddie can be a trunk if you want him to."

I sat next to him, and closed the door. I was absolutely exhausted. I had stayed up all night trying to convince my drunk mother to let me come on this stupid vacation. Spencer decided it would be a ton of fun if he took us to some cabin one of Socko's relatives was letting him rent for a week. 7 days stuck in a house with Freddie?

Part of me was overjoyed - but I didn't want to show it. It would be fun, maybe. I could mess with him and watch him sleep. But then again, I didn't want him, or Carly, to know that his now muscular body and increasingly deep voice were winning me over, and had been for a while now. I was good at keeping my composure.

The small talk on the way to the airport didn't interest me. I leaned against the passenger seat which was directly in front of me and closed my eyes. I felt Freddie's hand slip onto my box of Fat Cakes.

"Don't even think about stealing my Fat Cakes," I snapped, grabbing onto his wrist, "Benson, I will be watching you all week."

"Damn, Sam, I thought you were asleep. I was just gonna move your things so you could be more comfortable." He smirked, trying to seem all innocent. He wasn't fooling me. He wanted my food. No one takes my food. Ever.

My eyes flickered shut, then open, then shut again. I'd never had such a hard time staying awake. The taxi driver was helping though, he kept stopping short and making abrupt, fast turns. I could have enjoyed the ride, pretending to be in a race car or something, but I didn't have any energy.

Carly was enjoying it though. She was acting like she was drunk or something. She kept giggling and screeching with delight when the car sped up. Sometimes her perky little personality drove me crazy. Every day I was becoming more annoyed with the world, and she just managed to find something good in every bit of life - even me. Not many people could stand me anymore, except her and Freddie.

Somehow, somehow I didn't scare him off yet.

We got to the airport, and Freddie noticed that I was half asleep. He shook me gently to ensure I was awake, then reached over me to open the door. I stepped out, put my backpack on, and reached for my suitcase.

"I got it." He lifted it and got out of the taxi. He walked to the trunk, and took out his suitcase, then handed Carly hers. Spencer got his, and we all started walking into the airport. I just followed them, not paying much attention to things. I got yelled at for eating while in the security line, but that's about the only thing interesting that happened.

The only thing I had to entertain myself during the flight was the view out the window, a sketch pad, and Freddie sitting next to me. I waited until the plane took off to open it.

The first few drawings were dumb, little doodles. Then I saw the picture I drew of me and Jonah. I flipped past it quickly. Those were from when I was just starting out. I began to draw more realistic lately, even a few sketches of Freddie I did from memory (which I flipped past even quicker, so he wouldn't see), one of myself, and one of Frothy, my cat.

"You drew that?" Freddie asked, pointing. "That's really, really good."

"Thanks."

"I didn't know you drew." He shifted in his seat so he could look at me better. I got uncomfortable.

"You've seen my drawings on my notes and books," I chuckled.

"Yeah, but they weren't as detailed as this… Hey! Draw me something. Right now." He reached into my backpack and handed me my pencil.

"Um…" I glanced from the pencil to him, then flipped to a blank page. "If I draw you, the pad will probably burst into flames from your ugliness."

"You don't have to draw me. Draw whatever you'd like." He shrugged, "Let me see you in action."

I peered out the window, but there was nothing but clouds by now. I looked over to Freddie again. I had never drawn him without needing to use my imagination to fill in what I couldn't remember.

"Go on your laptop. Act natural." I pointed at his laptop, sitting closed on his lap. He opened it and went on to check ratings and stuff. His profile was so flawless. I started to draw him.

The basic shape of his face was simple, but as I got more into the drawing, I wanted to get everything right. Every shadow and every imperfection of his face needed to be there. His lips were the hardest to do, because they were my favorite part of his face. I felt awkward staring at him, feeling like if Carly were to look over at us from across the aisle, she would see it in my eyes how much I liked him.

I got lost in the drawing. I always felt so at peace while I drew, but no one ever saw me like this. Normally I'd be ripping on Freddie so bad, sleeping, or eating. But instead, I was sitting there, drawing him, completely vulnerable to the outside. I finished, filling in the color of a tiny beauty mark near his hairline.

I stared at the drawing. It was perfect, completely flawless. I was ashamed, though. So embarrassed.

"I'm done," I mumbled.

He looked over. I saw his eyes get wide. He stared at me, speechless, then took the pad from me. "Sam, you're amazing."

"You don't gotta say that." I laughed, "You can tell me the truth."

"Have you ever shown Spencer your drawings?" He waved to Spencer across the aisle, then held up the pad to show him. This was gonna be a long week, as everyone now knew that I liked to draw.

"Sam, you're like better than me!" Spencer put his arm around me as we left the airport and got into another taxi, "We could be a team, me and you, The Artists of Seattle!"

"Heh," I felt my cheeks getting hot. "Totally."

"You can sketch everything we see this week, and then when we get home, I can sculpt it all!"

That was all he talked about the entire ride to the cabin. Then when we got there, all Carly talked about was how much she hated the bugs. Then Spencer started to get mad because she wouldn't let him kill that fly that one day. Then Freddie got mad because there was no wi-fi. Then Carly got mad because there were no outlets for her to plug in her blow dryer. Then Spencer got mad because we were unappreciative for the outdoors.

Spencer took me aside to tell me that the refrigerator ran on gas and that I shouldn't be worried. It made me smile, but as soon as he stepped back near Carly and Freddie, all hell broke loose. I just stared at them. I looked around the room. There was a big couch, a table in front of it, a rug, a fireplace, 3 doors to 3 bedrooms, a door to a bathroom, then the fridge, a gas stove, and a table with chairs. There were no walls to separate the 'living room' area from the 'kitchen' area.

I picked up my bags, went into one of the bedrooms, and fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up to Carly already shouting. She was sweet and optimistic until it came to things like her hair and clothes. Most people wouldn't think she can be so bratty - but she could.

Freddie suddenly burst into my room, slamming the door behind him. I stared at him, pulled my blanket up to cover my chest, considering I was wearing a practically see through t-shirt and no bra, and threw my cellphone at him. It was dead anyway. No way to charge it. No outlets. It hit him in the chest, and he gave me the most aggravated look ever.

"Why the hell are you in here!" I shouted, "Get out!"

"Spencer and Carly are fighting! I had to get away!"

"You have your own room, dip head!" I sat up, still keeping the blanket covering me. "Get out!"

"I can't! Carly took all her things out of her and Spencer's room, threw all my things out of my room, and moved into mine. Spencer is like raging." He sat against my door, "Can't I just stay in here until they stop?"

"Fine." I looked around the room. Then I saw it. My suitcase. It was open. I had a couple pairs of girl boxers piled on the side, but on top of them laid my one and only thong. Carly got it for me for my birthday and I secretly loved it. It was pink, and it was lace. And it just sat there, inviting Freddie to pick it up and make fun of me. And he did.

"What do we have here?" He lifted it up, looking it over, "Oh, Princess Puckett, I have never found you more irresistible."

"Freddie!" I shouted, and in my attempt to grab it, I nearly fell off the bed. "Put it down!"

"What other goodies do you have in here?" He shot it at me like a rubber band, realizing by now that I didn't want to get out of bed because of what I was wearing. "Where are your bras?"

"You're such a fucking pervert!" I wrapped the blanket around my body, jumped out of the bed, and slammed my suitcase closed on his hand. "Get out of my room!"

"No!" He laughed, shoving me lightly.

"SPENCER, FREDDIE IS TOUCHING ME IN INAPPROPRIATE PLACES."

Spencer opened my door quickly, and stared at me on the floor covered in blankets, Freddie nearly on top of me, holding my underwear.

"Freddie, I think we need to have a talk… That is not the proper way to get into a female's pants." He grabbed Freddie's arm and pulled him out of my room. I closed the door behind them, then got dressed. I used these neat little wipes I bought online that were called "shower in a towel". They were like wet naps that you get at the dinner table, but for your whole body. They were the most convenient things in the world. I still put on deodorant, though, because I liked smelling like mangoes. Carly had also bought me my mango deodorant.

When I left my room, Carly was sitting at the kitchen table, her hair wet and slightly frizzy. I ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth, then tied my hair in a ponytail as I walked up to the table to join her.

"Rough morning, kiddo?" I handed her a scrunchie.

"Yeah." She tied her hair up, too. I didn't think it looked good, but neither of us were concerned with that. "You know what Spencer is making us do today?"

"Nope." I reached over to the fridge with my foot and pulled it open. It was like my secret talent.

"We have to go canoeing." She groaned loudly, "This was the stupidest idea ever. Why are we even here."

"Chill out Carls," I laughed, reaching for a container of macaroni that Spencer had packed. "Maybe it'll be fun."

"No it won't," She shook her head, "We could die, Sam. Do you know how dangerous it is?"

"We can film some stuff for iCarly. Maybe Freddie will get lost in the river. C'mon. Cheer up." I smiled.

"You mean you and Freddie can film stuff for iCarly. You guys always film stuff without me." She crossed your arms, "You guys like being together way too much."

I froze up. "No."

"Okay everybody! Let's get ready to go to the river!" Spencer marched through the house with life vests, Freddie following behind him. As Spencer started to lecture us on the safety rules, Freddie held up a condom and smirked at me. As we all left the cabin, following Spencer through the woods to the river, I nudged Freddie.

"Why do you have a condom?" I laughed.

"Spencer gave it to me so we could have safe sex." He shrugged, "He is convinced that we're friends with benefits."

"Me and you? Ew." I rolled my eyes.

"Well you guys did use each other for your first kiss." Carly piped in, "So, technically…"

"Carly, that doesn't count." I adjusted my vest, "Did you bring your fancy camera, Freddork?"

"Yup. 100% waterproof, and has a battery life of a few days. So as long as we're not filming non-stop, it should last us the week." He turned it on, "Say hello, girls!"

"I'm Sam!" I waved.

"I'm Carly!" Carly waved, too. "And this is iCarly, from the forest."

Freddie swung the camera around, getting all the trees around us on tape.

"We're going canoeing!" I smiled fakely, pointing at the river that we could now see in front of us.

We put Freddie in the front so he could film everything, then me, then Carly, then Spencer. Every now and then Freddie turned the camera behind him so we could make comments. No idea how he could hold onto that camera with the way the river was twisting.

When we finally got out of the canoe, Carly seemed annoyed. I had a blast though. Spencer was jumping around, and Freddie pointed the camera at me to close the video. I waved goodbye, and he turned it off.

"I'll edit that at home, and cut out the boring parts." He sat on a rock. Carly leaned against a tree, fixing her hair. Spencer was digging through his backpack.

"Sam!" He shouted. I walked over to him. "Draw the river."

"What." I watched him pull my sketch pad out of his bag. "No, Spencer, please."

"I brought a picnic for you guys!" He handed me the pad, then resumed to pulling random things out of his bag. He had 4 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches stuffed in there, along with juice boxes. He handed everything out. I sat on the ground, opened my pad to the next blank page, and sketched as we ate. I hated that they were making my love for drawing so much less of a secret, but I loved that Spencer was encouraging me.

We walked home after a bit of hanging out, and Freddie took the job of making dinner. Carly and Spencer lit a fire, and then of course, began arguing. It wasn't as bad as the night before or that morning, but I knew that she wasn't going to let Freddie have his room back. Something was bothering her- she normally wasn't this bitchy, especially to Spencer.

I decided to help Freddie with dinner so he wouldn't end up cooking us something his mom serves him.

"Pass me that bacon," I said, heating up a pan.

"We can't have bacon for dinner, Sam." He crossed his arms. "No."

"Come on, give it to me! I'm gonna make something tasty." I groaned, "Please."

"Fine." He handed me the pack of bacon in the fridge. I had learned plenty of recipes that involved bacon so that I could have it for any meal of the day.

We whipped up a beastly dinner, served it, and all chowed down. Shortly after that, however, Carly threw a bitch fit and slammed her, well Freddie's, door shut. Spencer got up, mumbled, "I'm sleepy!" and went into his room. Both locked their doors.

I looked at Freddie. "You're sleeping on the couch, buddy."

"Come on," he groaned, "I won't go through your suitcase again. I promise."

"Why can't you sleep on the couch?" I put the plates in the sink and started to wash them.

"It's cold out here." He shrugged, "It's warmer in the rooms. Plus, we can have safe sex."

"You're really pushing it, Dishrag." I shot him a death glance.

"I'm kidding, Sam." He laughed, "Please? I don't wanna freeze to death."

"I'd like you to." I smiled jokingly at him.

"Aw, that's mean." He walked up to the sink to help. "You really hate me that much?"

"Nah." I booty bumped him lightly. My heart gave in. I couldn't resist him. "You can sleep in my room, as long as you promise not to go through my stuff."

"I'd ankle shake with you but I don't know the whole routine." He finished cleaning the last plate and we put everything away.

It was late already, so we just went straight into my room. He brought his things in and I walked to the bathroom to change into pajamas and brush my teeth and stuff. After we were situated, laying in my bed as far away from each other as we could, I noticed him fall asleep quickly. I drew him that night, sleeping. I wanted to capture the moment. He probably thought I hated it, but I loved it. I liked his snoring.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry this chapter's kind of sucky. I had a really. really. really rough day. alsdkjsflkgj. i love you guys for the support3

* * *

When I woke up, I was laying in bed alone. I got some clean clothes out of my suitcase and left my room to take a shower. Freddie was filming Carly and Spencer doing something at the table for iCarly, so I just went straight for the bathroom.

The fact we had no electricity didn't really hit me until I got out of the shower and saw my bangs frizzing up. I styled the rest of my hair normally, with some curl cream, but with each passing second my bangs got puffier. I panicked. I couldn't straighten them. I couldn't blowdry them. I saw Carly's bag of hair clips, grabbed one, and clipped them back.

"I look so weird," I stared at myself in the mirror. I peaked out the door, and called Carly over. She slipped into the bathroom and I locked the door. "Does this look okay!"

"You look so cute!" She laughed, poking my forehead, "I never see your forehead!"

"So it looks okay?" I picked up the hairspray and sprayed it all over my head.

"Yes, it looks fine." She snatched the hairspray from me, "You're gonna suffocate us!"

"Sorry." I shrugged, "Okay, what are we doing today?"

"Well, it's raining pretty hard." She opened the door and I followed her to the table. Freddie was putting his camera away. "Spencer brought some things for us to do if it rained, so…"

"What'd you bring, Spence?" I asked.

"I have Twister, and Monopoly, some Uno cards, some other games, and even a funky little tie-dye kit!" Spencer ran to his room and came out with the boxes, "Whatcha guys wanna do?"

I kind of got excited at the tie-dye kit.

"I don't have any white shirts to tie-dye, though." Carly got a juice box from the fridge.

"That's okay! The kit comes with 5 white tee-shirts!" He ripped open the box and pulled out the instructions, "Okay we need 3 buckets and some water!"

"I saw some buckets under the sink," Freddie got on his knees and looked in the cabinet under the sink, "Yep, there's four of them."

"We only need three." Spencer repeated.

"I know… So I will only take out three." Freddie raised his eyebrow at Spencer. I smiled to myself. He had cute eyebrows. They were fun to draw, too.

Carly handed a t-shirt to each of us, then took out the rubber bands. When I picked up a rubber band, it reminded me of my thong. I giggled softly. We tossed our shirts in the buckets, put the dye on top, and then looked at each other.

"So what now." I mumbled.

"Freddie," Spencer smiled at him, "Guess what."

"What…?" Freddie seemed only a bit creeped out by his smile.

"I brought What Am I!" He held up the box in victory, and Freddie's face lit up. Carly and I walked away from them.

"Wanna give makeovers?" Carly laughed, as I followed her into her/Freddie's room. She closed the door behind us and we sat on her bed.

"Sure." I shrugged. "This is gonna be a long day."

"Yeah, it is. Hey, did Freddie sleep with you last night?" She grabbed her makeup bag from her suitcase and emptied it onto her bed in between us. I picked up a stick of lipstick and reached to smear it on her lips.

"Yep. Don't speak of it." I laughed. "This is a really ugly shade of red."

"You think all makeup is ugly, Sam." She wiped some green eyeshadow on my eyelids with her finger, "Are you guys…seeing each other, or something?"

"No way. Is that even a serious question?" In my attempt to put eyeliner on her, I poked her eye. "Whoops."

"Um, ow!" She covered her eye with her hand, laughing a bit, "That really hurt."

"I said whoops…" I put hot pink lip gloss on my own lips, puckering and making faces into her mirror.

"You like Freddie, don't you?" She said quickly, wiping her eye over and over, trying to get the dot of eyeliner out, "I can tell…"

"Nah," I shrugged, "I'm only attracted to men. Freddie's no man."

"You can't keep hiding it…" Her voice was getting soft. I looked from the mirror to her, and both her eyes were watery.

"Did I get eyeliner in your other eye, too?" I scrunched my face, "I am skilled."

"Sam, cut it out… Can't you tell me what's going on? I feel like you're both pushing me away." She sighed, "Please?"

"Carly, nothing's going on… Don't cry, please." I hugged her, "I promise that nothing is going on between me and Freddie. You know me better than that."

"Yeah, Sam. I know you better. And I know that you like him…" She hugged me back, "Stop lying to everyone about yourself."

"What are you talking about?" I crossed my arms, "I don't lie."

"Sam."

"I don't lie to you!" I laughed, "Now, make me beautiful."

"…Okay." She forced a smile at me, wiping her eyes dry. She finished putting on my makeup, then got the bright idea that we should have a fashion show. Being with her made me feel like a girl. I didn't hate makeup and dressing up and being pretty as much as I acted like.

I liked it when Freddie's jaw dropped at the sight of me in a dress and heels.

We worked together to make spaghetti tacos that night. My inner girliness faded quickly as I shoved the food down my throat.

We all switched into pajamas as soon as it got slightly dark, gathered around the fireplace, and ate marshmallows and hot chocolate. I sat next to Carly, feeling kind of… reconnected with her. Even though I told her I didn't lie to her… and bluntly lied about not liking Freddie.

We all played Monopoly, but Freddie just had to go and rub it in my face that he had more money than me and that he was winning. I glared at him.

"You better remember whose bed you're sleeping in tonight." I flicked his 'hotel' off of his property.

"Hey, that's cheating." He put his hotel back on, glaring straight back at me. I smiled.

"You're sleeping on the couch."

"No, I'm not." He reached for my stack of money, "Pay up. You landed on my property."

"This game is bull." I stood up, stretched, and walked to the kitchen, "Do we have icecream?"

"Yup. In the freezer." Spencer said. I opened the freezer and walked toward my room.

"Have fun sleeping on the couch tonight." I waved to Freddie, then locked my door. I sat on my bed eating icecream, listening to Spencer calmly explain to Freddie that he needed his own room due to reasons Freddie would not understand until he was older. I laughed to myself as I heard Spencer, then Carly's doors close. He knocked on mine.

"Please."

"Nope." I shouted. "Unless you give me my money back."

"Sam, it's just a game." He tugged on my doorknob.

"Life is a game, buddy." I opened the door. "_Pay up._"

"We already put Monopoly away. I don't have any money to give you." He groaned, trying to walk past me into my room.

"Nuh uh. Not until you pay me." I pushed him lightly out.

"I'll buy you lunch tomorrow. Come on. Please."

"Fine." I let him come in, and I laid in bed again, eating my icecream. "You know, Carly thinks you like me."

I'm such a liar.

"Does she really." He laughed, taking off his shirt right in front of me.

"Yep."

"Isn't that kind of immature, though? Secret crushes?" He laid next to me. "You already know how I feel about you."

_No I don't. _"And you know how I feel about you." I finished off the last of the icecream, tossed it off the bed, and pulled the covers over me. "So we can make it clear to Carly tomorrow, that nothing is going on between us."

"Yes. We can."

The next morning?

"How can you say you're going to lunch with him, but nothing is going on? Every night you sleep together? And now you're going to lunch? Sam you're lying to me!" Carly shouted, after locking me in the bathroom with her, nearly pinning me against the wall, "Stop lying to me!"

"CARLY." I grabbed her shoulders, "SHUT UP FOR FIVE SECONDS."

She shoved me, "No!"

"Fine. Whatever. You can keep being an immature psycho lunatic this entire week, or you can accept things for how they are and have some fun." I unlocked the door and left the room. "C'mon Freddie. Let's go."

Freddie and I left the cabin. Little did we know that Carly was breaking down in the bathroom, her two best friends left her there, and Spencer was hugging her trying to calm her down. _Way to go._


	4. Chapter 4

Freddie and I ended up in a very small local town, which was like those little towns you see in movies. Everything was really close by, and you could tell by the looks of things that everyone knew everyone. It was hot and the sun was making me sweat. Freddie brought his camera, and turned it on every once in a while as we walked the streets.

"And this, is Samantha Puckett, completely covered in her own bodily fluids!" He shouted, zooming in on a couple sweat drops dripping down my forehead. "Isn't she beautiful?"

"Fredward Benson," I smacked the camera, "stop being a dick!"

"You know you love the attention from me!" He laughed, turning off the camera, and pointing at a little diner at the corner, "Wanna go there?"

"Sure." I shrugged, "I'm starving."

"You're always starving." He opened the door for me, and I walked in. A waitress brought us to a small table.

As I looked down at the menu, everything was making my mouth water. "I want everything."

"Sam, I only have 20 dollars."

"Alright, I'll have this Hungry Man Special. It's $17.99." I pointed. "That sounds delicious!"

"And what do I get, a bowl of soup?" He shook his head, "No. Get something smaller."

"Then you don't get to sleep in my bed tonight." I closed the menu. I was starting to enjoy his company all night long. I'd never felt like someone was there to protect me at night, when I wasn't awake to watch myself. But having him next to me made me feel safe, even though he probably wouldn't be able to do much if a robber broke in and attacked us.

"Fine. I won't." He shrugged, "I'll sleep on the couch. No big deal."

I felt a chill run through my body. My mouth hung open slightly, I was speechless, and I just stared at him, sort of hurt. I didn't want him to know I was hurt, but it was pretty apparent. "Why not?"

"Well you don't want me to." He called a waitress over to our table. "We'll have two of these," he pointed at something on the menu. I wasn't sure what. "And two Peppy Colas."

"Freddie, I-" I stuttered a bit. I didn't want to straight up tell him I wanted him to continue sleeping with me because I liked it. I loved feeling him breathing against me when I creeped closer, I loved hearing him snore and I loved when he stole the blankets from me because it gave me an excuse to press my body against his for body heat. I loved playing with his fingers while he was unconscious and I loved staring at his face completely at peace. It was like he read my mind, because as all those thoughts ran through my head, he smiled.

He smiled a stupid, perfect, know-it-all smile, and then added a, "You like me sleeping with you, don't you?"

"What? I, what? No." I shook my head and laughed nervously, "No. You disgust me. You give me nightmares. When I wake up and see your face next to me it makes me wanna fall back asleep and never wake up."

"You're charming. I'm not taking you on a second date." He smirked, nodding to the waitress as she handed us sodas.

"You'd never even get me on a first date, snotface. This is just lunch." I took a sip of soda, "stop being so full of yourself."

"I'm not being full of myself. I just know a lot more about you than you think." He chuckled, and I was intrigued.

"What do you mean?" I raised my eyebrows, "I like bacon and I hate the world, there's not much more to me."

"You don't hate the world. You love the world. You just hate the life that you got thrown into." He shrugged, "But I'm not about to go all therapist on you."

"Well, I know one thing." I smiled widely.

"And what is that?"

"I hate you."

"I hate you too, Sam." He flicked his straw wrapper at me. I blew mine at him.

The waitress brought our food a few minutes later. He ordered us BLTs, which I didn't mind, because bacon is… well… bacon. After we finished, he ordered us icecream. The total came to just under 20 dollars, so we paid and stood to leave. The waitress caught us before we left, though.

"Are you two new in town?" She asked.

"We're here on vacation." Freddie answered.

"Here? For vacation? Well that's interesting…" She looked at us confused, "What exactly are you doing for fun?"

"Well we went canoeing." I mumbled. "And we played Monopoly."

"There's a great little circus coming to town tomorrow, looks like you picked the right week to come here. It comes here once a year, and is just about the only thing exciting to happen. Ever." She shrugged, "You two should go! It's a great date."

"We're not dating." I said quickly, "Definitely not dating."

Her expression only seemed to become more confused, "Oh. Well whoops."

"Looks like we're going to the circus tomorrow." I looked over at Freddie.

"Okay. Fine. I'll take you on a second date." He flicked my shoulder and then ran out the diner's door. I chased after him shouting his name.

"Freddie get back here!" I followed him, running, until we ended up in the forest's path back to the cabin. He slowed down.

"Okay, okay, you caught me. What now?" He leaned against a tree. "What do I get for flicking you?"

"Ugh, I don't know." I sighed, then punched him in the stomach lightly, "I don't like running like that after I eat. Eating makes me tired."

"You're so lazy." He took his camera out again, "Here we are, in a forest."

"Yes, on a path." I looked down, "Freddie, there's no path."

"What?" He pointed the camera down, "Sam where's the dirt road. These are leaves."

"Leaves, rocks, roots." I spun around in a circle looking for the path that we followed into the town. It was nowhere. "You idiot! Look what you did!"

"I didn't do anything!"

"If you hadn't ran into the forest and not paid any attention to where you were going, we wouldn't be in this situation!" I shouted, shoving him, "Turn off your damn camera and help me find the path so we can get back to the cabin!"

He put his camera away, and we started to walk around trees. Tree after tree after tree. I started to panic. I didn't like being lost. I knew my way around Seattle, I knew how to get away from cops no matter what. I knew every back road and every alley way. Being lost was not my comfort zone.

"Freddie, I'm freaking out right now." I ran my fingers through my hair, "I don't like this."

"I don't like it either. Do you have your cellphone? We'll just call for help."

"It's dead in my room, dumbass! Remember they all died?" I stared around me. It wasn't even city. It was trees. I was never around so many trees. I looked up. There were so many branches and leaves that I couldn't even see the sky. It reminded me of when we went to find Bigfoot, except we weren't lost.

It was getting dark quickly as we continued walking through the forest, probably just getting ourselves more lost. I looked at my ugly pink watch that I had to wear since I had no phone, and it was only around 3.

"Why is it getting dark?" I asked.

"There might be another storm coming." He shrugged, "maybe."

My legs hurt, my stomach was growling already, my back hurt from the crappy bed, and every other pessimistic thought entered my mind. We wouldn't find our way out, we'd starve to death, we'd get eaten by bears, a tree would fall on us, a tree would get struck by lightning and we'd burn to death in a forest fire. I sat down abruptly against a tree, and threw leaves into the air.

"What are you doing?" Freddie looked down at me.

"I'm tired. We're lost. We're not gonna find our way out any time soon. Let me rest, okay?" I closed my eyes. I wanted someone to reassure me we'd be okay. But he just sat next to me. I realized he felt just as hopeless. A raindrop hit my nose. "Freddie, this sucks."

"You've been calling me Freddie a lot more often lately." He put his hood on. "How come?"

"I dunno." I shrugged. I reached for my hood. "I'm not wearing a hoodie. Oh joy."

He stared at me a couple seconds, then unzipped his. I got nervous, no guy had ever given me their jacket like that before.

"No, no, no," I said quickly, "keep it on, I'll be okay."

"Sam, take it." He took it off and pushed it on my lap.

"Freddie, no." I pushed it back to him. He pushed it back to me and I shoved him. "I don't feel like arguing with you right now. I'm in a really, really shitty mood. Things suck right now, okay?"

"I know that they suck, but I'm just trying to be nice!" He threw his jacket in my face, "Geez, Sam. Loosen the hell up. We're friends, okay? Just because you have such a hatred toward everything doesn't mean you can't accept when I try to be nice."

"Whatever." I put his jacket on the ground between us, and the rain picked up. Drop after drop fell on my face, and mixed with a couple tears. I was officially losing my composure.


	5. Chapter 5

We sat there silently for what seemed like hours. I was soaked, and the rain and crying only made me more tired. I gave in. I put his jacket on his shoulder, and leaned against him. I closed my eyes and sobbed. I hated it. I didn't want to cry, especially not with him.

"I wanna go home," I mumbled, "I want to hear my mom yelling at Frothy, and I want to eat cake all night long while watching TV. I want to sleep on Carly's couch and I want to break into your room when you're not home, and I want to steal stuff just to feel the rush when I get to run away from the cops."

"You break into my room?" He pushed my head off his shoulder quickly.

"…Yeah, to prank you." I wiped my eyes.

"When was the last time you did that?" He stared at me.

"I dunno, last week?" I shrugged, "Why?"

"Oh, Sam." He put his jacket around my shoulders, stood, and then grabbed my hand to pull me up, "Let's get out of here."

"We're never gonna get out. I hate you, Freddie. I hate you so much…" I pushed my wet hair out of my face, "You ruin everything."

"I appreciate that." He held onto my wrist, pulling me along with him as he walked through the trees. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what."

"Running water. It might be the river." He started running toward whatever sound he heard, I didn't hear anything but rain hitting my head, and I tried to keep up with him. "See! The river! We just have to follow it upstream, and we'll be right by the cabin! Sam, we're saved!"

I wanted to hug him and jump up and down like I probably would have if I were with Carly. But I didn't.

"It's not like I like Freddie," Carly said, eating a grape at the kitchen table, "I really don't."

"Then what's the problem with Freddie and Sam being close? I thought all 3 of you were best friends anyway." Spencer sat across from her with hot cocoa.

"I'm gonna become a third wheel. I mean, I already am. I used to be the heart of the friendship, and now I'm just… kicked to the side." She shrugged, "I think Sam's, like, you know… depressed."

"Depressed? What? Why?" Spencer got concerned.

"She's always mad, and I think she cries. One time she slept over, and I heard her crying in our bathroom. But whenever I ask her what's wrong, or if she wants to talk to me about her problems, she doesn't. I don't think she tells anyone."

"Well she's probably not actually depressed to the point she needs to see a doctor about it. But if you think something's wrong, get it out of her. You're her best friend."

"WAS her best friend. Her and Freddie just push me away now." She shook her head, "Maybe it's in her sketch pad. That's the closest thing to a journal I've ever seen Sam have. Let's go raid it!"

"Carly, that's her personal stuff," Spencer blinked a couple times, "I'm so curious, go get it now!"

Carly jumped up from the table and ran to Sam and Freddie's room. She looked through Sam's bag, then found the pad under the bed. She brought it back to the table where Spencer was sitting. "Here."

"Well open it!" He shouted. She did.

Page after page was Freddie. Carly's jaw dropped. "Wow."

"She's amazing." Spencer mumbled, "I had no idea she was so good."

"Neither did I… Spencer, she's completely in love with him, isn't she?"

"You're their best friend. Make them happy. But now that I know what's going on in your little twisted teenaged mind, no more getting mad at me. Give Freddie his room back."

By the time we got back to the cabin, it was past dinner time. I pushed the door open to see Carly bringing the last of her things back into Spencer's room, and Spencer putting Freddie's things into Carly's.

"Looks like we have our own rooms back, snotface." I wringed my hair out as I walked in, then handed him his hoodie.

"Yup." We both changed into pajamas and met back in the kitchen, apparently both wanting hot cocoa. I saw the empty mugs in the sink from Carly and Spencer. I watched Freddie clean them and then make some for both of us.

"How was your lunch together?" Carly asked, strolling in. "You've been out for a while."

"Terrible. I had the worst day of my life." I rolled my eyes, "He's lucky I didn't kill him."

"You were far from homicidal today, you little cry baby." Freddie shoved me lightly.

"Who the hell are you calling a cry baby?" I shoved him back.

"If you weren't with me, you'd still be sitting against a tree bawling your eyes out!" He handed me my mug, which I slammed down on the table.

"If I wasn't with you, I wouldn't have gotten lost in the first place!"

"Guys!" Carly shouted, "Stop fighting!"

"After all the shit I do for her, she still can't appreciate anything." Freddie took his cup, walked into his room, and closed the door. I crossed my arms.

"Douche."

"Sam what the hell was that?" Carly stared at me dumbfounded.

"I need food and a bed." I mumbled, sipping my hot cocoa.

That night, I laid awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. I didn't lay in the middle, I was to the side, trying to imagine Freddie laying next to me. I guess no one ever would think that when we fought, it actually hurt me. I hated when he was mad at me. But as he'd said in the past, I'm just naturally vicious. There was nothing I could do to stop how I acted. I wanted to draw to let my emotions out, but all I wanted to draw was him.

I got out of bed, and opened my door. I walked over to his and pressed my ear against it, trying to hear what he was doing. It was silent.

"What are you doing up?" Freddie asked from behind me. I turned around quickly, seeing him walking toward me from the bathroom.

"Nothing," I said quickly, "You?"

"I was peeing." He mumbled, "You're by my door."

"Yeah, so?" I put my hands on my hips, "What's it to you?"

"Well, it's my door." He laughed, "You miss me." He took a step closer, I took a step away, and my back hit his door. As he walked up to me, he put his hands on the wall, one on each side of me.

"No I don't." I grabbed his shoulders, "You can't trap me here."

"Wanna bet?" He stood his ground, and I pushed him as hard as I could. When that didn't work, I attempted to slip under his arms, but he grabbed me. I struggled to break from his grip, which only resulted in us falling to the floor with a quiet thud.

"Let go of me!" I shouted in a whisper.

"Admit you miss me."

"I'd never miss you," I snapped, "Now let me go!"

"I already let go of you, Sam." He chuckled, "You've just been enjoying laying on top of me so much you didn't notice."

I stood up quickly and stared at him on the floor. "You're so stupid."

"No, you are. Why can't you just admit how you feel about me? You can't put on this tough-guy show your entire life." He stood up and then opened his door. "Goodnight, Sam."

I watched him close his door. I put my hand on his doorknob and turned slowly, then pulled it open. "Night, Freddie."

He was sitting on his bed, staring at me. I stared right back. I didn't know what was on his mind or even what was really going through my mind. I just wanted to lay with him.

"C'mere…" He mumbled quietly, "Talk to me, Sam."

"How can I talk to you? I closed the door behind me, then collapsed into his bed, "You drive me crazy Freddie. I hate you so much."

"Fine. Go to sleep, you crazy psychopath." He hugged me tight and pulled the blankets over us.


	6. Chapter 6

"Sam?" Carly knocked on my door. I heard her from Freddie's bed. I tried not to panic. "Sam? Open up."

I slipped out of his bed, and opened his door quietly. She immediately turned to face me.

"Hey Carls!" I mumbled sheepishly. "What are you doing awake so early?"

"It's not early. It's almost 10!" She was already dressed and her hair was done, "You told me yesterday that you wanted to go to the circus today! So Spencer and I got up and got ready."

"Okay, I'll get showered and dressed, I just need to… go into my room." I walked slowly past her and into my room. I pulled some clean clothes from my bag, but as I was about to leave, Carly closed the door and stood in front of it.

"You slept with Freddie last night anyway?"

"Um… No." I laughed, "Why would I do that?"

"Because you _love _him. But I do not approve of you two sleeping together!" She grabbed my shoulders, "You could get pregnant and end up like your mom!"

"Whoa," I pushed her away, "Pregnant?"

"Yes, Sam. Didn't you pay attention in health class? When a man and a woman sleep together-"

"No, Carly, I know how babies work. But we're not having sex!" I felt my face getting red, "We're really not."

"Just be careful Sam… I'm here for you to talk to about… things, you know." She smiled at me, "Don't leave me out of your life."

"My life?" I walked past her and out the room, "My life's going just fine."

Freddie walked out of his room, rubbing his eyes, "What's going on?"

"We're going to the circus like the waitress told us to," I said, then went to shower.

"Do you think they'll have bears on bicycles?" Spencer asked, as we walked to town. "Or monkeys that can juggle?"

"I don't know, Spencer." Carly shrugged, "I've never seen someone so excited to go to a circus."

"Well circuses never come around anymore!" He exclaimed, "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity."

"Maybe there'll be a bearded lady. Sam might like that." Freddie poked my shoulder.

"Nah, I've got my own bearded lady back at home." I shrugged. "What would be cool, though, is if they have one of those elephant people!"

"Sam that's a disease!" Freddie shouted, "You shouldn't joke about things like that."

"Who told you it's a disease?" I snapped, "It's just deformed people."

"No, it's called Elephantiasis. I watched a program about it on Discovery Channel."

I stared at him, "You actually watch the Discovery Channel? Wow no wonder you don't have a girlfriend."

"Says the girl who can't get enough time in the bed with me." He smirked.

"Enough, you two." Spencer said, "No fighting while we're at the circus!"

"Hmph." I crossed my arms.

When we got to the circus, we were quickly greeted by a few acrobats and clowns. We got our seats right in the front. The show started with a few people doing tricks on the tight ropes, and then clowns jumping through hoops of fire. It was interesting, but what I couldn't take my eyes off was the man standing behind the curtains. I could see some of him, but I didn't have a great view. When it was his turn to come out to perform, my eyes widened.

"It's an elephant man!" I shouted. He waved to everyone. His face was bulging to the side, and his chest had blobs of skin hanging from it. I turned to Freddie, "I need to meet him."

"Why?" He laughed.

"I need to ask him if it's a disease. I'll prove you wrong." I smiled, "And if I do prove you wrong, you have to be my slave for the rest of the week."

"Sam, I know it's a disease." He shook his head, "And if I win, you have to be _my_ slave for the rest of the week."

"Deal. Carly, come on." I grabbed Carly's wrist, "Time to get some awesome footage for iCarly."

"No, Sam, no no no!" She groaned as I pulled her, dragging her right behind the curtains. No one even stopped us. There were clowns putting on makeup and acrobats tying their hair.

"Freddie, he's coming!" I shouted, seeing the elephant man coming back behind the curtain. Freddie took out his camera and started filming. "You, sir!" I ran up to him. I tried not to make a disgusted face.

"Yes?" He looked down at me.

"Can we interview you for our webshow?" Carly asked.

"Hm… Sure." He led us outside where it was quieter and we sat down to talk.

"Okay, so, first question," I began, "Is Elephantitus a disease?"

"It's Elephantiasis, Sam."

"Whatever." I stared at the man, "Or is it just a birth deformity?"

"Well," he laughed, "I was born like this; deformed."

"HA!" I nudged Freddie, "You're my slave."

"But- Elephantiasis _is_ a disease."

"HA!" Freddie nudged me back, "You're MY slave!"

Carly noticed us about to start screaming at each other and quickly said, "Sam can be Freddie's slave for half the time and Freddie can be Sam's slave for half the time!"

"Wow, I thought you'd just tell us the bet's off." I shrugged, "But okay. As long as Freddie goes first."

We asked the man a few more questions, then snuck around to find others to interview. We got a ton of amazing footage for the website. Spencer eventually caught up with us after the show and yelled at us for wandering off.

"My favorite part," I said loudly as we walked home, "was when the super strong man lifted me up!"

"Only because it's the closest thing you'll ever get to a guy feeling you up." Freddie turned to me.

"You're really pushing it today," I grabbed his head and shoved him to the ground, "You're my slave, don't forget that!"

"Watch it Puckett, I'm not as weak anymore." He shoved me back and I stumbled.

"Freddie, calm down, boys shouldn't push girls." Spencer pointed his finger at him.

"Oh, but Sam is the furthest thing from a girl."

"You really mean that you're the furthest thing from a boy!" I kicked his leg and he fell again. I stared at him on the ground.

"Um… Well we're back at the cabin! Let's go inside now." Carly pointed and then ran to the porch and went inside.

After we ate dinner silently, I took a walk. My sketch pad on my lap, I sat by the stream and drew the trees and bushes. A bird landed next to me, so I started to draw it. I put my pad on the ground next to me, then laid back to stare up at the sky. I didn't understand why he hated me so much all of a sudden. If anyone had problems, it was him. He always tried to tell me that I had anger issues, and I didn't appreciate him, and I treated him bad. But he was the one having mood swings, treating me great one second, then crappy the next.

I had to tell him how I felt. There was no way that I could keep up being just friends with him if our relationship was going like this.

"Oh, Sam, what are you thinking!" I smacked my own face, "You can't tell him. You'll just make a fool of yourself."

I heard someone walking toward me. I sat up and looked.

"I thought I'd find you here." Freddie mumbled, then sat next to me.

"What do you want, Fredhead." I looked away from him, and started drawing again.

"I want to apologize." He sighed, "I didn't mean to make you mad."

"You didn't make me mad." I shrugged, "You hurt me."

"Come on, we both know that you didn't get hurt when I pushed you." He laughed, "You're a lot stronger than the average girl."

"I meant emotionally." I flipped to a blank page and started a new drawing of the sky.

"…oh." He looked up at the clouds as I drew them, "I did?"

"Yep." I closed the pad. I looked over at him, "Just like you said, I need to stop acting so tough. So I'm going to tell you exactly what is on my mind."

I wanted to slap myself in the face again, and stop talking, but I couldn't.

"Okay."

"I've needed to act tough and strong since I was little, because getting by was hard for me and my mom. We both act like we're confident and know what we're doing, but neither of us are in good shape. She gets drunk and high as often as she can to make the pain go away. I make fun of people, bully them, and mess with them. Usually when people stand up to me, it's fun, or it makes me angry. But when you do… it hurts me." I paused as I felt him put his arm around me.

"Why?"

"Because I actually care what you think of me. And you've been doing it so much more lately. When I would mess with you, it didn't seem like you cared. But now I feel like you're really starting to hate me… I'm losing myself, because you're getting to me. I don't want to keep acting so tough and strong, because you're right, I'm not. I'm weak and pathetic inside, and everything bothers me. I'm not happy with my life and I don't like who I am. I don't like people being afraid of me, I don't like people hating me. I don't like you not wanting to be near me."

"Whoever said that I don't want to be near you?" He mumbled, "I love being near you."

"Freddie, I'm sorry. Remember when we kissed, and I told you that I'd apologize every now and then?" I looked into his eyes. Him staring right at me startled me, but I stared right back.

"I do remember."

"Well, I'm sorry. But this time, maybe I'll lay off a little. I'll stop being so mean to you. Because you mean a lot to me, even if you don't realize it." I buried my face in my hands, "Why am I opening up to you like this!"

"It's nice to know there's an emotional side to you. And you're not weak, or pathetic. You're amazing." He pulled me into a hug, "And you mean a lot to me, too."

"I really like you, Freddie." I hugged him back. He didn't say anything. He just held me. I pushed him away, "Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, I heard you."

"You're not gonna say that you really like me too?" I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"No, I'm not." He laughed. "Wanna know why?"

"Because I'm repulsive and you hate me?" I looked away.

"Nope. Because I love you, Sam." He smiled at me. I stared at him, speechless.

"I should probably say I love you too, right?" I mumbled.

"You don't have to. You can break my arm if you want. I just want you to know." He stood up and started walking back to the cabin, "It's gonna get dark soon, you should come inside."

"I love you too, Freddie…" I whispered to myself, as I saw him go inside. "I love you too…"


	7. Chapter 7

I stayed outside until the stars came out. I stared up at them, drew them, and then connected them, like a free style game of connect the dots. I felt myself getting tired so I got up and walked inside. Carly and Spencer were asleep on the couch, Carly's head resting on his shoulder. Freddie was doing a camera test at the table. I got nervous when I saw him. I officially had no idea how to act around him. I could easily continue to be a jerk, or I could show him my softer side all the time. Trying to settle in the middle was nearly impossible, because either way I grew frustrated. I either hated myself for being so mean to him, or I hated myself for losing my 'old ways'.

I sat down at the table with him.

"Whatcha up to?" I mumbled.

"Just playing with my camera." He smiled at me.

I sighed, "You're such a geek."

"Yeah, I know." He shrugged, "But you're the one that likes me."

"No need to tease me." I laughed quietly, "I mean, considering you _love_ me. I could make fun of you the rest of eternity."

"But you won't." He stood up and walked to his room to put the camera away. I followed.

"What makes you so sure that I won't?" I laid on his bed.

"Because I know you love me too." He closed his door, took off his shirt, and laid next to me. I resisted staring at his chest and abs. "I'm really tired."

"Well you shouldn't be. You're still my slave." I poked at his cheek, "Even my sex slave."

"Aw, wha? Sam, I'm not gonna do anything your twisted little mind wants me to." He laughed, "You can take care of that yourself."

"Calm down Fredweird, I'm joking." I put my arms around him lightly, to get a feel if he was okay with that.

"Why don't you put on pajamas or something?" He mumbled, "You'd be more comfortable."

I suddenly didn't feel comfortable anymore, realizing that I was in the clothes I'd worn all day. I groaned, "I'm too lazy."

"I will not cuddle with you unless you take off your sneakers and jeans."

I groaned again loudly, then stood up, kicked off my sneakers, and took off my jeans. I left my t-shirt and boxers, then climbed back into bed with him. He pulled the blankets over us.

"You're the only girl I think I will ever meet that chooses boxers over panties." He put his arm around me and pulled me close, "Is that okay?"

"Yeah." I tangled my legs with his uncomfortably. "Just because I like you doesn't mean you'll get into my pants."

"I don't want to." He closed his eyes, "I just want to feel you here, with me, right now."

"You're so weird." I stared at his face.

"No, I just don't want to lose you. My mom always told me that once I found the right girl, I shouldn't let her go. My dad let her go, and I never want to make a girl feel the way he made her feel when he left…"

"You won't lose me." I sighed, "Stop being a wuss and kiss me already."

My heart beat sped up as I said that. He smiled at me, then the hand that was lightly resting on my waist slid up into my hair and pulled my face closer to his. I let my lips press against his, finding my arms sliding around his neck and my fingers exploring his hair.

I pulled away quickly, "Freddie, I have to tell you something."

"What is it?" He looked worried, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no…" I buried my face into his chest, "I love you."

"I love you too… How are we gonna tell Carly about this?" He sighed, "I think she's really uncomfortable with us being close."

"I know. She's already flipped out about it. We'll just have to keep it a secret." I yawned.

"We can't though. Remember we promised no more secrets?" He yawned too, "Let's figure it out in the morning."

"Okay." I felt his fingers under my chin as he gently tilted my face up to kiss me.

"Goodnight."

"Night."

I woke up the next morning, still in his arms. I yawned and stretched, hitting him in the face by mistake. He opened his eyes quickly.

"Ow." He groaned loudly, then wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, "How'd you sleep?"

"Good." I felt all the awkward slip away in that moment. Somehow, with that one hug, I knew that everything would be okay.

We left his room lazily, sitting at the kitchen table. He made me some hot cocoa. Sitting across from each other, we smiled, until Spencer's door opened and he joined us.

"So you two slept together last night, huh?" He said uncomfortably, "So you're like, a 'thing' now?"

I saw Freddie about to open his mouth, but I cut him off. "No, not at all."

"We're not? I mean no, we're not. At all." He nodded his head.

"Yep. Just friends." I sipped my hot cocoa nervously.

He stared at us, "Whatever you say."

We all started packing our things to leave after Spencer had an allergic reaction to a plant he touched by the river. He had a large rash going up his arm, and couldn't stop scratching it. As much as I hated the trip in the beginning, I really didn't want to leave. Home, I wouldn't get to be with Freddie at night.

As Spencer and Carly got into the taxi we were taking to the airport, Freddie and I were putting our bags into the trunk.

"So are we just going to never tell Carly?" He sighed, "I feel so… bad."

"Well, technically you never even asked me to be your girlfriend, so there's nothing to tell her." I smirked.

"My dear Samantha Puckett, will you be my girlfriend?" He laughed. My heart completely melted and I felt my knees get weak. The smile on my face could never have been so big.

"On one condition."

"What is that?"

"You never, ever, ever eat the last Fat Cake in the box." I slid my hand against his, holding it tightly.

"Deal." He smiled at me. I had enough drawings of that smile to last me a lifetime.

I spent the entire ride staring out the window, secretly holding Freddie's hand underneath a jacket he'd placed on our laps so no one would see. When I found out that I wouldn't be sitting next to Freddie, but next to Carly instead, I was really disappointed.

"So, did you draw anything good during the trip?" Carly asked after the plane took off. I gazed at the clouds out the window.

"Some cool clouds and rocks." I shrugged, "Trees."

"Is that all?" She mumbled.

"Pretty much." I laughed, "Everything alright with you and Spencer now?"

"Yeah, we made up." She looked away from me. I could tell she was curious about me and Freddie. She was dying to know. Despite feeling closer with her after the other night, even though I lied my ass off, I couldn't bring myself to tell her. "Would you draw me?"

I excitedly pulled out my pad and started drawing her, feeling Freddie staring at me from across the aisle. I looked up at him every once in a while, seeing him smile whenever we made eye contact. Spencer was reading, and Freddie was hopelessly pretending to be on his laptop.

It was late when the plane finally landed, and the taxi took us back to Seattle. We all went upstairs to Carly's apartment, and as they went inside, she asked me if I wanted to sleep over.

I looked over at Freddie putting his key in his doorknob. He looked at me. "Sure. But I think I left something in Freddie's apartment last week, I'll be over in a minute."

She nodded and went inside, closing the door behind her. Freddie and I stood in the hall alone together. I hugged him.

"It's gonna be lonely tonight without you." I laughed.

"Well if you need me, you know where I am." He kissed my forehead, "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you ever mean those mean things you've said about me in the past?" He stared at me curiously.

"Awe, Freddie, no." I looked down, "I usually meant the opposite."

"Are you gonna lay off a little now?"

"Well, I need to play it off like nothing happened between us. So, I still hate you." I kissed his cheek, "I'll see you in the morning."

"Night, Sam."

I went into Carly's apartment, and she'd already set a blanket, pillow, and some snacks on the couch for me. She was drinking water in the kitchen, then headed to her room, saying goodnight as she passed me. I kicked off my shoes, ate the food, then laid down on the couch. I fell asleep quickly.


	8. Chapter 8

It wasn't long before I found myself at school again. I didn't miss it at all. But now, Freddie walked me there every day. No more running from the cops or taking cabs. My mom wasn't the most reliable person for a ride to school, but I always knew Freddie was going to be there.

While I was talking to Carly at her locker, Freddie walked up behind me and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Hey guys," he said, "what'cha talking about?"

"Nothing, get off me," I pushed him off my shoulder playfully, Carly eyeing us curiously. "Did you do your math homework?"

"Yeah." Freddie dug into his backpack, and I closed my locker. Carly closed hers, too, then sighed.

"I saw you guys walking to school today when Spencer dropped me off." She shrugged, "You guys walk together often?"

"Pfft," I laughed, "Why would I walk to school with him?"

"I saw you guys holding hands." She looked away, "Don't hide it from me anymore."

Freddie looked up from his backpack, "Carly, we weren't together this morning. You must have seen someone else."

"Yeah." I nodded, "What he said."

"How could you think me and _Sam_ of all people, would hold hands?" Freddie handed me the looseleaf paper with the homework on it, and I looked back at Carly.

"Yeah, Carls. It hurts me that you don't trust us." I smiled at her, "I wouldn't lie to you, kid."

"But... Guys," She shifted uncomfortably, "You've been acting so close, and it really looked like you..."

"Carly, we've been best friends for years. Trust us." Freddie pulled his backpack onto his shoulder, then looked over at me. "Sam and I are just friends."

Carly was about to speak, but the bell rang. She forced a smile at us, then started walking toward her next class. I grabbed Freddie's arm and pulled him into one of the janitor closets. "She's onto us!"

"I know!" He turned the light on as I bumped into a bucket. "We need to tell her soon."

"We've already lied our asses off about everything! We can't just go and tell her, we'll look like the biggest jerkoffs in the history of jerkoffs."

"Sam, we can't keep lying. I hate not being able to kiss you in front of other people." He pulled me into a hug, "I really want to be able to say that you're mine."

"But what about Carly!" I groaned, "Freddie, I don't know what to do. She's my best friend. I used to never lie to her. Now I'm keeping the biggest thing to ever happen to me from her."

"I don't know what to do either." He kissed my forehead, "I'm sorry I'm putting you through this."

"It's not your fault." I shrugged, "It's mine. It was my bright idea to lie about it in the first place."

"It's not your fault either. We'll figure this out. I promise. But for now, we really should get to science. The bell's going to ring soon." He put his hand on the doorknob, but I pulled him into a kiss. We never got to kiss anymore. People were always around, and no one knew we were together. It was the hardest secret to keep.

I could tell he missed kissing as much as I did, because it seemed like he forgot we had a test to take in science. Being late to class, especially on a test day, was not part of the Freddie Benson master plan. But as our lips were locked, and the bell rang, I could feel it- for the first time ever, he didn't care that I'd made him late.

We ran to class, walking in a few minutes late. Our teacher stared at us.

"Your tests are on your lab table," he said, "Freddie, I'm calling your mother. Spending so much time with Puckett here has greatly impacted your performance. And now you're late?"

Freddie shrugged. We sat at the same lab table, so every once in a while I glanced over to copy an answer from him. He smiled at me each time I did. He filled in the last bubble on his scantron sheet, then got up and handed his test in. I glared at him when he sat back down, and he knew it was because I still had to fill in half of my bubbles. I handed in my test and passed a note to Freddie. He passed it back, and of course it got taken away before the end of the period.

"Fredward Benson, I'm so disappointed in you." Freddie mumbled, mocking his mother, as we walked to lunch, "What has become of you!"

"That Samantha Puckett is no good for you!" I shouted, pointing at him, "She's a bad influence."

"Time to spray you with disinfectant and rub you with anti tick lotion!" He wrapped his arms around me, and I giggled as we almost stumbled, hugging as we walked.

"Hey, Carly has to go to a club meeting after school, want to hang out at her place until she gets home?" I asked, grabbing Gibby's sandwich as we passed him sitting at a table in the cafeteria.

"Sure thing." Freddie and I sat down, and I handed him half the sandwich. "How do you think you did on that test?"

"Well," I sighed, "Considering I didn't get to finish it because my dear boyfriend wouldn't let me copy off of him..."

"Shh, someone might hear you." He laughed, "And, just because I love you doesn't mean that you can copy everything off me."

"But Freddie." I groaned, "I'm going to fail that class."

"That's your problem, Sam." He took my soda from his backpack and handed it to me. "Here's all the crap you made me carry around all day."

I watched him pull out two packs of Fat Cakes, a taco wrapped in foil, and a chocolate bar. I smiled. "You're the best."

"You eat like a pig." He laughed.

Gibby sat across from us at the table, and glared at me. "You took my sandwich."

"You got a problem with that?" I snapped, "Trust me, Gib. You don't need to eat anymore."

"I'm offended." He crossed his arms. "You know, I've been working out."

"Good for you." I bit into the taco, letting my foot hit Freddie's under the table. "Go buy me a chocolate milk?"

"Fine. But you owe me." He got up and walked away. Freddie looked over at me.

"How do you get him to do everything you ask, while being so mean to him?" He asked. I shrugged. He kissed my cheek quickly, neither of us realizing Gibby had walked back up to us.

"Sam there's no chocola-" He stared, "Did I just see what I think I just saw?"

"Gibby," I started, standing up and holding the taco tight, "I swear on everything holy that if you tell anyone what you just saw I will make your life a living hell."

Freddie and I walked back to Bushwell Plaza awkwardly.

"Today was a trainwreck." I sighed. "This isn't going to work, is it..."

"...What do you mean?" He slowed down to a stop, "Like, us?"

"Yeah..." I looked away, "What do we do?"

"We're not breaking up." He pulled me into a hug, "I don't want to."

"I don't either. Let's talk about it at Carly's."

We kept walking, sitting on her couch when we got there. I started eating a piece of pizza I found in her fridge, and Freddie took out his notebook to do his homework. I leaned against him, watching him write as I chewed. "So what do you want to do about this?"

"I dunno." I shrugged, "Freddie, how are we going to tell her? How are we going to tell everyone..."

Spencer startled me, walking behind us from his room into the kitchen. He got a water from the fridge, then stared at us. "When did you two get here?"

"A few minutes ago." Freddie said. "Is that okay?"

"Uh, yeah." He raised an eyebrow, "I'm gonna go take a nap... Behave."

I watched him walk back into his room, then quickly kissed Freddie. "Tell me we'll make it."

"We'll make it, Sam." He put his notebook next to him, I tossed my pizza onto the floor, and he pushed me back onto the couch, kissing me gently. I giggled as he kissed my neck and smiled at me.

"Freddie," I hugged him tight, "I love you."

"I love you too." He closed his eyes, resting his head on my chest. And as he did that, I could hear someone turning the doorknob. I didn't react fast enough, and before I knew it, Mrs. Benson stood before us, with fire in her eyes.

She stood there, staring at us, Freddie laying on top of me, his face against my chest. We both stared right back at her.

"What the hell is going on here!" She shouted, cursing in front of me for the first time ever.

Freddie quickly got off of me, sitting up and blushing. "Nothing, mom."

"FREDWARD BENSON." She slapped him, "What's going on with you!"

"Hey! Don't hit him!" I stood up and grabbed her arm, "Are you crazy?"

"Don't you touch me, Puckett." She shoved me away, "What are you doing to my son!"

"I wasn't doing anything to your son!" I shouted, "Don't push me, lady."

"Freddie, go to your room. Right now." She pointed out the door, "Right. Now."

"What's going on here?" Spencer ran out of his room, joining us. "Why is everyone yelling?"

"Because Freddie's psycho mother here is flipping out for no reason!" I told him.

"Marissa, what's going on." Spencer said calmly, walking up to her and holding her shoulders.

"I got a phone call saying that Sam has been distracting Freddie in class and making him late, and so I came over here to talk to him about it, and I found him laying on top of her!"

"Freddie is old enough to have a girlfriend. I don't think you should be as upset as you are. Sam's a nice girl. She'll be good for him. Don't worry. I'll keep an eye on him. And if he ever needs to talk about boy-stuff, you know I'm here for him." Spencer patted her shoulder, "Now, you two, spill the beans."

"Why would anyone ever intentionally spill beans?" I mumbled.

"Sam," Freddie laughed, "He meant to tell them about us."

"Oh." I looked up at Spencer, "So what if I like Freddie?" I put my hands on my hips, "It's not a big deal."

"Freddie, is it true? Is she really your girlfriend?" Mrs. Benson stared at Freddie as if she'd just seen a ghost.

"Yup." He put his arm around me. I smiled at her.

"Oh... Freddie..." She covered her face with her hands, pacing back and forth in the room, "What am I going to do with you..."

"Marissa, I told you. I'll keep an eye on him. Don't worry about anything." Spencer reassured her, "Now, go home, relax, do a puzzle. I'll talk to the kids."

"...Okay, Spencer." She awkwardly left the apartment, closing the door behind her.

"You two are in a shitload of trouble." Spencer shook his head, "First of all, how could you ever think to get on top of her, on MY couch?"

"Spencer, chill, we were just hugging." I rolled my eyes.

"That's the oldest excuse in the book." He started pacing back and forth like Mrs. Benson was. "Shouldn't I be dealing with giving Carly 'the talk' before I have to give it to her friends?

Carly opened the door, walking inside, "Why is Mrs. Benson crying in the hallway?"

"Carly!" Freddie and I shouted at the same time.

"Because your best friends are idiots." Spencer smiled at her, "Lying, stupid, idiots."


	9. Chapter 9

"Saying they're stupid would imply that they're idiots." Carly said. "What's going on?"

"Carly, we need to tell you something." I stepped forward, "I've been lying to you. About everything. I didn't want to tell you when I started having feelings for Freddie because you always told me how much you liked the fact he loved you because it made you feel special." I shrugged, "I'm sorry."

Carly stared at me, dumbfounded. "So... you two are... together?"

"Carly..." Freddie mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"You lied to me. You guys betrayed me. You went behind my back. Again." She dropped her bag, and started to walk toward her room, "Sam, I knew you liked him after seeing all those stupid drawings you had of him. But you didn't need to both lie to me about being together."

"You looked in my sketch pad?" I ran up to her and grabbed her arm, "Carly, how could you do that!"

She was speechless. She knew it was wrong to look in my sketch pad. It didn't make me feel any less guilty for lying to her, but it made me feel a little better knowing she messed up, too. I felt like the worst friend in the world. I looked back at Freddie.

"I can't believe you two." She shook her head, and ran up the stairs. Spencer ran after her.

"That went even worse than I thought." Freddie walked up to me. We both knew that things weren't going good. I sighed, realizing no one wanted us together. After hating each other for so long, when I finally wanted him, it wasn't okay.

"We can't be together, can we?" I looked down at the floor, "Your mom's upset, Spencer's upset, Carly's upset. Everyone in school is going to freak out, your teachers are going to get mad, I'll get made fun of for being with a geek."

"Sam, don't look at it that way... Please." He touched my hand but I pulled it away. "Sam!"

"I love you Freddie," I shrugged, "But this isn't going to work out."

"Are you breaking up with me? We just agreed that we'd work out, and we said we wouldn't break up! Literally a few minutes ago, Sam. Please don't..." I felt a tear roll down my cheek as he tried to hug me. I pushed him away again.

"Stop." I walked away, "Putting our happiness first instead of our friendship with Carly is fucked up."

"But Sam..." He followed me. I took my sketch pad out of my bag and handed it to him. "Why are you giving me this?"

"So that I won't stare at the pages every night anymore." I put my bag on my shoulder, "I love you. I'm sorry this happened." I left the apartment. I walked down the hall and left.

I cried the entire walk home. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to break up with him but I sucked at dealing with pressure. I couldn't explain to myself my feelings. I just knew I felt sad and angry, and I wanted Freddie and for everyone else to be happy about us being together. I slammed the door when I got home and sat down at the kitchen table, wiping my eyes. I didn't expect my mom to be home for a couple more hours, but there she was, with a bucket of icecream.

"What's wrong, kid?" She asked, sitting across from me. "I've never seen you cry like this."

"Fucking Freddie!" I shouted, "And Carly. And everything."

"What's going on with Freddie and Carly?" She got a second spoon and handed it to me. "You never tell me things. I wanna listen."

"I love Freddie, Mom. A lot." I laughed, "...a lot."

"You're just a kid. You don't know what love is yet."

"Yeah I do. I know I do." I looked away.

"Okay, what's the problem though? He doesn't love you back?" She asked.

"The problem is that he _does_ love me back." I rested my head on the table, "no one wants us to be together though. I just dumped him because of that."

"You gotta learn to not give a fuck what anyone else thinks." She laughed, "No one can tell you how to live your life. If Carly was really your best friend, she'd be happy for you. All of your friends should be happy for you. Sweetheart, live your life. Please. You've found a guy at this age that wants to be with you, don't let it go. Don't end up like me, hopping from one guy to another, even some women now and then. Stick with him, and forget about everyone else. Because at the end of your life, who's going to be there for you? Your husband. When you don't feel like changing a diaper, who's gonna do it for you? Your husband. Don't end up like me, please, letting your kids sleep in poop-"

"Is that why Melanie has that nasty disease?"

"That's not what we're talking about. The point is, at some time or another, Carly's gonna have her own family to deal with. She's not always going to be there for you to fall back on. But Freddie? He will be. I know that, because no other guy would waste their time on you unless they were serious about being with you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I laughed.

"You're a lot to deal with, Sammy." She messed up my hair, and I smiled.

I still didn't know what I was gonna do, but I knew that I needed to forget about everyone else's opinion. But now that I'd broken up with him, how could I convince him to get back with me so quickly? I needed to fix things with Carly first, before anything. Sleeping that night was horribly hard.

Walking up to Carly the next morning was awkward.

"Hey." She mumbled, "I heard what happened with Freddie."

"Yeah." I shrugged, "Oh well, shit happens, you know? Things don't always go how you plan."

"Was it because of me?"

"No shit." I laughed, getting a bag of chips from my locker, "You're my best friend. If you don't want me with him, I won't be with him."

"It's not that I didn't want you with him!" She shook her head, "I just didn't want you to lie to me."

"I'm sorry, Carly." I sighed, "what's done is done, though."

"He has to take you back." She looked over at him talking to his other friends across the hall, "There he is now, go talk to him about it."

"Carly, no-"

"FREDDIE!" Carly shouted, and he looked over at us. She waved for him to come over.

"What's up? Did you guys make up?" When our eyes met, my heart sunk.

"Yeah. Sort of." I shrugged.

"So, will you go back out with Sam?" She smiled big, "Now that it's not behind my back, I'm totally okay with it!"

"No," he shook his head, "I don't need her dumping me again because my mom doesn't approve. If I cared about my mom's approval, I wouldn't even hang out with her."

"Freddie..." I looked away.

"Freddie!" Carly screamed, shoving him, "It's all my fault! I messed everything up between you two, please!"

"You're not the one who threw away the 'biggest thing to ever happen to her'. Sam is." He started to walk away and I didn't have the guts to follow him. Everything my mom said went through my head, and not one piece of her advice covered what to do if he didn't want me back. I started crying. Again.

"Sam, Sam, oh, Sam, no don't cry." Carly tried to hug me. I just walked away, and left school. I walked straight home to find my mom sleeping on the couch. I sat on the floor and stared at her, begging for her to wake up. When she finally did, she stared at me, confused.

"He didn't want you back?"

I shook my head and the tears started pouring down my cheeks again. She quickly hugged me, and I broke down in her arms, "What do I do, Mom?"

"Well, usually, all you have to do is take your shirt off to get a guy to stay. But, I don't need you getting pregnant like I did, so, avoid that."

"Please say something useful now." I wiped my eyes.

"Maybe the reason that guys always left me is because I was never any good at talking to them about my feelings."

"But, but Mom." I sighed, "I already told him how I felt."

"Then I dunno what to tell you, kiddo."

I didn't do anything for a while. I sat in my room mostly, I didn't go to Carly's and I didn't talk at school. I didn't even draw. Then one day, the day we had a test in science, Freddie didn't show up to class. That was strange of him, so I got a little worried. I raised my hand and asked to go to the bathroom, and started roaming the halls looking for him.

I walked up to the same closet him and I had been kissing the day of the last test. I opened the door and saw him sitting on the floor against the wall. I sat down next to him.

"Why are you here." I asked, looking at him.

"Why are _you_ here?" He asked, looking back.

"I just knew you'd be here." I shrugged.

"I just kept thinking about what happened the last time we had a test in science, and I didn't feel like going to class and seeing you, because I knew I'd start crying or something." He laughed. "But I'm really happy you came and found me."

"I miss you." I put my head on his shoulder, "I miss you a lot."

"I miss you too, Sam. I'm sorry I've been being such a jerk. My mom doesn't even care if I'm with you anymore." He sighed, "Can't you not care what others think?"

"I don't anymore. I just want to be with you again."

"Promise that this time forever will really be forever?" He smiled cheesily at me, and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Promise."

"Then Sam Puckett, will you be my girlfriend again?"

"I will." I kissed him quickly, missing the feeling.

"Now let's go take that test!" He stood up and pulled me up, and we ran to science class.

"You mean so you can take it and I can copy." He opened the door for me, and smiled as we both sat down.

"Yup."


End file.
